Coming soon, I hope. As soon as others start talking about it, if they start talking about it...
I began documenting the Fast Food Wars several years ago as an embedded journalist, deep behind enemy lines, as part of the search for WMDs (Weapons of Mass Distraction.) But as fate would have it, I stumbled upon secrets the Main Stream Media and the publishing industry refused to make known so I took it upon myself to anonymously publish my first hand accounts to the Internet via third parties in the hope the World will someday know the truth.
When that didn't work I started a blog.
My dispatches lack a time line because of the often changing and circuitous routes the messengers must take in order to avoid detection. "Don't shoot the messenger" is not atypical in modern warfare. One messenger might get lucky and travel the world in days while another might take months. It's the same way when messages are relayed back to me. I once got word of an assassination attempt the day after it happened.
Don't bother trying to contact me as I remain the target of a fast food terrorist group known as Micky Ds, lead by a notorious red headed clown who has vowed to torture me and kill me with giant infusions of Cholesterol should they ever find me.
So I guess you're wondering why I post many of my reports in rhyming verse instead of the usual style? Simple really, the Colonel, the Clown and the King have never been able to crack the code and stop my dispatches before they're posted by friends and fellow freedom fries in constantly changing, undisclosed locations, hidden deep in areas outside of the control of colonels, clowns and kings.
That's right, while it may look to most that the King is on our side, his motives are just as deadly as the terrorist clown he battles. And the Colonel? He's a mercenary, a soldier of fortune, a gun for hire. You never know who's side he's on. When it comes to the Fast Food Wars, everyone is your enemy. There is no one you can trust lest you end up fried or taken down with a Sonic Blast, a Kid's Pack or any one of the dozens of WMDs they are known to keep in their arsenals.
Like me, your lives are on the line-- be afraid and think about my warnings each time you think about take-out.
About The Author, No, Really:
Billy is the author of several books, struggling inventor, environmentalist, mental case,
Billy also writes
Wackemall, Billy's Two Wheeled Musings and More!